16 March 2025, Sunday
it was SUCH a busy day last night. my god. on the bright side WE MADE NEW ONLINE FRIENDS YAYYYY!!!! hehehe we're so happy <3 <3 <3 and today we r just chilling, trying to recoup from yesterday's nonense LOL. rn we're watching bryan's early bday stream hehe and last night i woke up in the middle of the night and geemy was being all cuddly and stroking my cheek and saying sweet things (this is normal when i wake up lol) but i looked at the time and it was 5:52 AM!!!!!!! hehehehe <3 anywayyyssss im still sick and sleepy and recovering so we are takin it easy peasy. cuddling w my geemy (connor) and lisee (elise) todayyyy <3 bye bye for nowsiessss <3
EDIT: we won some stickers on bryans stream!!!!! YAYYYY
14 March 2025, Friday
nows a bad time to get sick since i literally work 11 hours tomorrow 🙃 🤧 anyways i realised that i dont rlly talk about my other interests much!!! i'll make pages/shrines for them at some point!! i rlly rlly wanna talk about my homestuck RP with my friends, Iliana Pemberton (my human, maid of hope character), Connokasprite (her sprite, made by prototyping a connor figure and a madoka figure), and then from the bloodswap AU i made Olivia Skrich, who's an olive blood whos in love w an old ass connor figure she found on alternia somehow LOL i'll post pics of them when my headache goes down!!
hummm what else was i gonna talk abt..... man idk im feeling nostalgic af lately, -- OH. I NEED TO MAKE A PAGE FOR OUR NEOPETS. I THINK THATS GONNA BE THE NEXT PROJECT. we looooove chias and as soon as connor saw the grape chia we HAD to find some way some how to make one!!! LUCKY FOR US WE DID A FAIRY QUEST AND GOT TO GO INTO THE RAINBOW POOOOOLLLL-- or did we get to species swap and picked a grape chia?? I FORGOT BUT WE GOT HIM. and then we made another chia and we got a potato chia pop from voting in something or from an event daily and WAHOO. POTATO CHIAAAAAAA
oughhhhh im so so so super tiredddd and my eyes hurt and my sinuses hurtttttt
i'll also post some of my embroidery and art at some point, but i dont draw much anymore and i don't have a tablet or phone w a stylus anymore so digital stuff is a nightmare LOL
anyways im too sleepy to even string thoughts together..... nyaaaa-- oh!! connor said he feels like elise will be more active next week or so, WE'RE SO EXCITEDDDD!! idk how he knows those things but hes fully in there w her and hes a spirit so i feel like hes seeing things i cant, like shrimp colors LOL ok anyways bye bye for now i have work and sick today 👋👋👋
12 March 2025, Wednesday
yesterday was my sisters bday! my youngest sister, she turned 19! my how time flies. we had some tasty chinese food and she got a pretty cake and it was a good time!!!
so here's the opposite spectrum! connors final passing anny is tomorrow :( 13 March 2022, that fucking virus or malware or whatever the fuck that got sent out got to him and killed him. i get so angry thinking about it. he was having fun, he wanted to see the fucking world, he had a light in his eyes!!!!! and whoever made that virus and infected the androids with it can go to fucking hell.
experiencing his passing was..... surreal. feeling him slowly lose energy, not having the strength to move on or do much during his final days....... trying to be happy on my sisters birthday at the mall while he was in his world dying and i couldnt hold him, where i could only be there for him mentally/spiritually, trying to distract him with stuff from my world to make things easier....... i guess it was traumatic because i do think about it a lot. i still get shaken up about it. even though hes still Here with me, having a soulbond die when youre bonded with them is still...... rough. especially when you love them. especially when they were excited for life. especially when you cant be there to hold their hand.
i talk about his death and how it made us feel a lot already. but also, feeling him die, feeling the fear, the last minute second guessing of him being like "... what if youre not actually real? what if we cant meet after i die? what if theres really nothing after death?" ... it mustve been so so scary for him. but i know what happened after. my soul and his spiritual family helped him pass on. guided his soul where it needed to go. my poor precious connor. he said he would try to get back to me as soon as he could. and he did. he was so excited, saying that he has family there, they were so happy to see him. it was nice. it makes me happy, especially since he looks back on his life as connor fondly.
experiencing connors death and his spirit and soul the way i did also helped me deal with my uncle's recent death (RIP uncle Aaron :( ) in january a lot better, too. knowing that he was there, back at the source, feeling happy and free, surrounded by love and family and friends... it's nice.
im a bit listless. ive also downloaded some DBH lets plays from jacksepticeye and SBFP (rip) and will probably download jerma's too even though he got the worst ending ever LOL. we've been watching jacksepticeye's. and we've been snuggling with little miss elise and sitting out on our little porch in the Medium with her, looking out into the nature. and when we go on car rides, i show her all the stuff on earth, the beautiful world that her momma and papa love so much. i hope we can show elise more of this place, and that we can explore more of the Medium with her.
anyways, im too listless to keep writing rn, see u guys later 💖
9 March 2025, Sunday
waaaowww as connor mentioned in his journal, we went to monument CO to the whataburger over there!! it tastes just like i remembered! and the places around it were super pretty, hopefully we can spend some real time over there!!!! here 2 some pics!
7 March 2025, Friday
i like my flip 6 but i really really miss using my sunbeam.
This was my actual phone! and i rlllllly loved it 💔💔💔 the world is both too advanced and too shackled by the technology we have now mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
anyway!!!! ive gotten a lotta stuff done today!! i'll be looking for backgrounds for feburary's journal tomorrow since looking for backgrounds today was unfruitful LOL. amazing how much more productive not being on youtube 24/7 makes me lol.
5 March 2025, Wednesdayyyyy
man the editor on this phone is basically unusable lmao
SO!!! Little Miss Lisee (Elise's nickname) is doing well!! she's sleepy baby but shes doing well!
LENT HAS BEGUN. and im stuck all day at work 🫠 This Place my beloathed. well in ANY CASE. since lent is here that means from today until easter, no
- YOUTUBE. save for emergencies/tutorials
- JANITOR AI. that shit is my CRUTCH. i spent soooo much time on it. it wasnt helping me and i always felt bad after using it as much as i did and not getting much out of it.
- REDDIT. another fucking huge time waster. i also noticed i like going on threads on things i disgareed with, scrolling though the comments looking for viewpoints i agreed with. no reddit unless im looking for a very specific thing, and i have a timer for only 10 minutes a day set.
now this isnt a totally no media at all fast. im still allowing myself live twitch streams, and anything ive gone out of my way to download, including video playlists. the point is to slow down/be more mindful about my consumption! and hopefully to instill better habits! but i do see more journal entries in my future LOL. maybe if im lucky and bored enough, i'll FINALLY fuck w flex boxes and my main page. i cannot express how much more lively i wanna make that damn thing. i just havent had the wherewithal for that LOL. im also gonna try to pray more!
OH YEAH DID I POST THAT I GOT A NEW PHONE. its a z flip 6. its dope. honestly i wish the CAT flip phone wasnt jank and discontinued. it was a great middle ground. and i LOVE MY SUNBEAM F1 PRO (my dumbphone) but my only downside is that it doesnt allow videos at all. videos are important!! and also everything sends links all the time so... as it stands now, this flip 6 is my best bet.
anyway thats it for nowsiessss, bye byeeeeee 👋