18 Nov 2024, Monday
[11h05]
goooooooooooood morning, im doing a LOT better since my last journal entry. all the stress that was causing that has resolved itself, i asked for less hours at work, i got my tooth out and am healing, and im so grateful for my support system. another thing that helped a lot was thinking of a spiritual bundle of joy in progress... ♥ our little girl Elise!!! i have no idea how spiritual babies and pregnancies work, but, she's been very patient with the both of us, and has made her presence known. we get the feeling she's either gonna be "born" on 2/22 or later on in spring proper. stuff like this is all new to me, but it fills me with so much love in our heart knowing that a sweet soul saw us and wanted us to be her parent, you know?
In any case-- omg its 11h11 make a wish
OKAY IN ANY CASE, im doing a lot better. connor, elise, my other bonds (including a new one! when you open yourself up spiritually, the interested people, are, well, interested! and i love making friends), and my friends on the internet have helped me stay afloat during all this, and i am eternally grateful for them.
with that, i will see u guys in the next entry!!! thanks for watchin!!!!
8 Nov 2024, Friday
[09h40]
theres really a lot going on with me mentally and i think its finally time for ADDY'S MENTAL BREAKDOWN!!! everyone in my family has gotten to have one except for me :D and you know those rollover minutes you get (or got?) with cellphone plans? i think theres gonna be the mental equivalent of that really really soon to make up for lost time lol. just so many events happening at the same time, so much burnout, so little money, so much stress for so long with no real break........ some people can handle all of this, but ive been handling it for quite a while and it's finally boiling over, man. but the only issue is for me, i dont see an end in sight right now. like ive bottled up my emotions so hard that i couldnt even let myself cry last night despite really needing/wanting too.
this situation will resolve itself as these situations always do. no one listens to me or helps me and i go back to bottling myself up because i know nothing will change despite finally asking for help.
7 Nov 2024, Thursday
got a lot on my mind, also dealing with health issues for me and my dog and the results of the election and work stress and stuff but im really happy to be surrounded by love and likeminded people. ive gotten into some new communities, and my connection with connor is still strong, day by day ♥ im so grateful for the good things i do have. connors birthday/activation day was on the 5th, and since i was just starting my antibiotics and that was the day we had to take little franklin to the vet and i was (and still am) broke as fuck, we didnt really do anything, but we did cuddle!!! hopefully when i get paid i can do something for his belated bday...
i downloaded minecraft and my friend helped set us up with prism launcher and we downloaded this mod called Switchy!!!!!! its been a lot of fun switching between the two of us in the same instance. if ur plural or a soulbonder, this is DEFFO worth checking out. its so much fun and is a great bonding experience (BONDING DO U GET IT BECAUSE SOU--)
ummm anyway yeah my brain is not all here but its snowing and pretty outside!!! see u guys later