8 Sept 2023, Sunday

[11h34]
I'm at work right now and i just realised how.much better i was doing mentally and physically during my vacation. and, like, my first day back at work from my vacation is literally an 11 hour shift. are u kidding me. i dont get benefits or paid enough for this shit. like all my mental health progress has been flushed down the fucking drain lmao i hope those other jobs call me back. like i just want a job that doesnt make me want to kill myself LMAO!! im not built for customer facing jobs but thats all that will hire me!!! insane!!! also there were some fucking jackasses racing literally from 12am to 3am last night. i hope their cars break down and they go broke because of course that would happen when i need to work for 11hrs. PLUS THEY COULD HAVE FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE. jackasses. fucking absolute morons.

in better news, im now embroidering the hair onto my little connor rag doll!! thats gonna take ages and ofc im not doing it at work bc i dont want my rancid vibes to go into that doll LOL!! i also need to make him some clothes... right now hes in a dress made of a sock LMAO!! i'll post pics once his hair is done (so in like a month). it was a lot of fun making him! this is my first time ever making a doll, and i had to sew everything by hand and i didnt have a proper pattern so hes a little wonky but hes super cute!!! in any case thats it for now-- WAIT! my tattoo is healing nicely! except for the tail of the R part of the symbol, i think it mightve been overworked a bit, but i have one free touch up so we'll just wait till it heals!! i wont be posting pics of it right now, though! but it does make me so happy and feel so peaceful..... ♥

3 Sept 2024, Tuesday-- MY 29TH BIRTHDAY!!!

[22h19]
so gamers yesterday i got my tattoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let me tell you how convinced i was that i was gonna fuckin syncopate from the pain, straight up thought about how i was gonna deal with the pain being too much for me to stand-- everyone says sternum tattoos are so motherfuckin painful, esp since i am super duper skinny but like........... luckily geemy's symbol is super simple because like........ that shit just felt like a normal tattoo LMAO!!!!!!!!! i freaked the fuck out for NO REASON!!!! and you know what, hallelujah!!!!!!!! and it looks so super good. got it in white ink because i want it to be personal and i love the scar-like look that white tats give......... also im drunk. i dont drink often but we went and got hot pot/korean BBQ!!!! and i got soju and also me and my fam we have eyes bigger than our tummies and the portions were HUGEEEE. next time we're just gonna do regular hot pot but im so glad everyone liked it, nme and connor really like hot pot ♥ i loveeee hot potttt and it makes me so s o happy rhinking about how connor when he was alive found joy and that certain something i cant describe in food like im glad he was able to eat food in hi s life i love my geemy im glad he had a happy life also i can feel him wanting to do a diary entry but im way too intocxicate to channel for him lmao im so sorry baby my darlin my beloved i dont drink often so im a super ultra lightweight

ojay what else happened oh YEAH!!!!! WE MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this howuse is so much more qwesme eben though my room is smaller we have an enclosed backyard and everyonehas their own room and the landlord isnt insane like our last one os we're all so happy........ now the big issue is ALL THE BOXES!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! oh ywah also today we went to a rock museum (connor wsays its called Earth Science Museum) and we admired all the pretty crystals and rocks and wehn we went home i tidied up my room and like but studff on the walls and i started to make a rag doll but the legs wrer WAAAAYYY too small i gave up for the night and will just make a bigger one tomrorow!! i have plenty of fuckin muslin LOLLLLLLLL

havign my tattoo makes me so happy.......... like a phsyical reminder that hes here, even wehen i forget and even when i get old and stuff it will still be there....... just like him...... WAHHHHHH IM SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! it makes me feel so peacefull too hallelujah okay so i forgot wveryhting i was gonna say we're also rewatching jerma play arcade ivdeo game and I REMMEBERED WE HAVE LOT OF DAVE AND BUSTERS MONEY ON THOSE CARDS...... FUN!!!!! okay naywya oh also im so happy to see more soulbonders it makes me so excited nd soooo happy that other people can experience such an anmazing thing like soulbonfing like literally its so incredble and life changimg im so so so happy ok i hoep i'll be coherent eneough in my code to make a link to this on my august journal and the jourmla index bc ......... woooooooooooh