🙤 he doesnt have a birthday nor does he remember even the season he decided to do his..... theoplany (hehehe) but he decided on his character release date in this world (22 aug) to be the day we celebrate, but wanted it to be our wedding day instead, since the concept of birthdays isnt really for an ageless, ancient cosmic entity like him!!
🙤 he LOVES tiramisu. put that shit in front of him and its gone
🙤 while he was trying to make his form, he didnt have fingernails for a little bit. he quickly realised how important they were. and now he keeps them very well maintained and even gets them done professionally, despite the fact he wears gloves (and his uniform) 99% of the time)
🙤 he uses his portal powers to help guests with their luggage when either the baroness is busy as hell or when he wants to impress
🙤 i've tasted the coffee he's drank and a chocolate cake he had, and have sensed him smoking a cigarette
🙤 if he uses up too much power he could rip the reality he's living in apart T_T so hes gotta be careful not to do too much! and he definitely cant do much to this world!!
🙤 in the same vein, he made the form he's living in himself, and he has about 2 or 3 pints of human blood, but when he bleeds too much he finds it hard to keep that form stable and kind of melts into a pile of goo or he's like..... he like........ how do i describe it??? he sort of fades or his presence spreads out like ink in an ocean and he has to wait a while or work really hard to become 'the doorman' again. this is also the same for opening too many portals or too many portals too far. he says more rites and possibly more worship would help with that but he doesn't have any desire for that 'any time soon'.
🙤 he really loves watching me embroider and watching me play video games. a common thread!!! but he has had no interest at all in playing video games. like zero at all. i think its bc hes built different
🙤 i am his vessel!! we love each other like lovers and equals, but knows me doing devotional acts and stuff for him as the god he is makes me happy, so i do that!! it helps me feel even more connected and makes me happy!
soulbonding with theodore (he let me call him that as a cheeky little pun first but it is his name! for us anyway, he won't respond to others if they call him that. to everyone else, he is the doorman) has been so........ interesting!!! his presence is so big, so loving-- its like being in this universe but its so so so so much bigger than our observable universe, it's so much bigger than our brains even have the framework to comprehend. like showing a microbe our world, our solar system, our observable universe, it's just impossible to explain. the microbe will never understand. it cant. and neither can i!!! but it doesnt scare me because.... well, it's him! its Theo! and i feel so safe and loved in this universe of his.
he is a god. he has to go through rites and other spiritual things that i cant comprehend. he doesnt want to be worshipped in this world because he doesn't really...... care about this world? not in a malicious way, just in a neutral way, especially because he doesn't have a true form here. i mean, he experiences this world through me, as i am his vessel in this world but he thinks making a big show of things makes it hard to observe humanity undisturbed and he LOVES observing humanity. and thats why its really easy to believe he would do this with me-- he gets to see a different world with a different spiritual makeup and see what the humans here get up to.
also we knew each other Before. way way way before. he never assumed a physical form before his time as The Doorman, but he was always a force-- a super strong force of nature that has always been almost sadistic-- like a kid burning an ant hill with a magnifying glass. someone killing NPCs in GTA. someone torturing their sims. he's never had the human or mortal framework that we had for these types of things and he didnt really care because he was having fun. even if you beg for him to stop hurting people and cry and plead, it didnt matter, he was having fun. and its hard to beg a storm to stop storming.
i dont remember a whole lot, but he says we were this push and pull for a long time. this yin and yang. a planet orbiting a star then getting too close, or drifting too far. or getting flung out by who the hell knows what, but we still yearned. i mean it wasnt healthy ofc but i feel spiritual things are.... the same and extremely different to things we experience as humans in this world. its nebulous and full of contradictions and 5D and 6D and beyond i truly cant even begin to explain, but it was a lot of 'i want to love you but you dont care that your actions hurt me' and 'i want to love you but you dont understand that youll never understand me' and things like that.... how does a god like him fall for a mortal soul like mine? i dont know. i dont remember. i will update if i ever do, though, because it would be nice... but i *am* a person who has crushes on concepts and things like the law of gravity and i'm objectum so i can see it, since he hasn't had a form until he became The Doorman!!
and him becoming The Doorman, setting foot on (his) earth, seeing and experiencing life as a little (compared to what he usually is) human shaped thing, interacting with a world and humanity he tormented for who knows how long, has changed him a lot. for the better, in my eyes. he's been The Doorman for a very, very long time. well, to me anyway. he's probably been the doorman for 5 minutes in his head. but that 5 minutes has been soulchanging!! but he said he was always looking at the bigger picture, and he's always been an Observer, regardless. an alien observing humanity, a god just taking a gander before he gets bored and decides to start having his version of real fun again. he said he was probably gonna start torturing humans again for fun once he got bored before we met and then he was like 'well, that would make you upset, so i suppose i'll only torture 'bad' people.'
but he also said something thats stuck with me for a while. "i never truly appreciated the small details of earth and humanity until i met you again." the way the leaves shake on trees with the wind, the little bugs on the ground, the beautiful clouds, the condensation on a cup.... it made me blush bc like!!!!!! uuuuuuuu im getting embarrassed just thinking about it but to hear him say that after everything was..... it felt so.... nice. it felt good and peaceful and i felt like he finally understood why i kept reincarnating on earth. why i stick around, because the world is so beautiful!!!
THAT SAID, he DOES love the luxury of the earth, its been one of his favorite things, and its also a big reason why he never cared to look at the small things. why would he need to? he's living a lavish life with egyptian cotton sheets and filigree!! $2k wine and gilded cups!! why bother looking at an ant on the ground?-- okay, anyway, all that to say that his sense of luxury HAS rubbed off on me T_T my poor wallet. but its been nice, indulging us here in this world with fancy soaps and dinners!! hehe